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- TOP TEN SIGNS THE MOVIE YOU'RE WATCHING WILL NOT WIN AN
- ACADEMY AWARD
-
- (The Top Ten List Dave did on the 67th Academy Awards, Monday, March 27, 1995)
-
- 10. It still has the time code from the camcorder
-
- 9. Any combination of the words "police" and "academy" in
- the title
-
- 8. It's a movie about the Civil War and General Grant is
- wearing Dockers
-
- 7. You hear someone yelling, "Focus!" and you realize it's
- the director
-
- 6. It's a beautifully made documentary about two kids in the
- inner city trying to realize their dream of playing professional basketball
-
- 5. The last 20 minutes is a shot of Richie from Local 262
- eating donuts
-
- 4. Your date had to jam a hypodermic needle full of adrenaline
- into your heart just to keep you awake
-
- 3. Before it starts, you hear, "Thank you for coming to Loews,
- sit back and relax, this movie blows!"
-
- 2. Nude scene with Uma Thurman replaced by nude scene with
- Strom Thurmond
-
- 1. Four words: "Dom DeLuise is Ghandi"
-
-